For people seeking personal change, finding their unique truth after conducting a comprehensive self-assessment is liberating. Looking in from outside of the box gives opportunity to critically critique yourself without the fear of being judged by others. Unearthing facts about oneself leads to an awareness. I equate this new awareness with taking an honest look in the mirror and seeing a true reflection of self. Light is shed on who we’ve become.
Inevitably we bare witness that we have developed personal traits that are both beneficial and detrimental regarding the change we desire. Strengths, deficits, habits, resilience factors, etc are revealed and many people find it difficult to accept that they never knew themselves the way they thought they did.
Acceptance of our truths discovered in our new awareness is a necessary step in the change process. Although synonymous, acceptance is not to be confused with settling for or complacency. Acceptance does not infer submission. Acceptance is taking ownership of your dynamic whether it good, bad or indifferent. The blame game is over; we must be conscious and own our responsibilities to change. If we’ve deemed something in our lives worthy of change we are accountable for the outcome. A major breakthrough in the process of personal change is accepting change will not happen without taking action. I refer to this action oriented phase as ‘Taking calculated steps’.
We’ve all heard old adages associated with action, thus we are no strangers to knowing ‘Action speaks louder than words’ and There’s nothing to but to do it’. However, taking action is often easier said than done.
Action must be focused, specific and viable to attain maximum success. A willingness to achieve a desired outcome prompts the call for Action.
Putting your change in motion could entail conducting an entire Internal Makeover. This could mean giving up old habits, starting new routines, renegotiating relationships and taking on challenges etc. To change you must be prepared to put skin in the game and know nothing worth having comes easy. Stay on track, keep your eyes on the prize and by all reward yourself for your action related accomplishments.
The old school R&B classic ‘Rising to the Top’ says it best from my perspective; “Keep on believing, all the dreams inside of you and don’t stop achieving…., don’t let nobody stop us, Just keep trying, Keep Rising to the Top, Give it all you got!….,” (Keni Burke)
Especially where controlled scheduled change has been substantial, (E.g. 180 degree turn) it’s a beautiful feeling to know that we’ve met our objectives and accomplished related goals. To maintain our new dynamic it is imperative that we are cognizant that change requires ongoing maintenance. Far too often we’ve seen people make dramatic changes in their lives however they don’t have a backup or a contingency plan in place for those difficult challenging days that are inevitable. Sometimes in a flash all the hard work and discipline it took to make the change occur appears futile because of a step backwards. Hence establishing a sense of accountability is too necessary to remind us of our responsibilities. My advice is to have in place supports you can turn to on those difficult days. People who are aware of your journey and have helped you along the way make a great place to turn to. Also bear in mind to whom you are accountable to. This includes yourself first and foremost, family friends etc. When we consider what’s at stake and how far we’ve come keep on pushing through as hard as it may seem, this challenge to will pass and when reflecting in the future you will admire you and your ability to change.
Now that’s REAL Talk